Course 1-Fruit Juice
Chubby Brown,Linda Nolan,Fogwell Flax,Joe Longthorne,Paul Squires,Sooty and Sweep,Ian Sludge Lees...some of the many names to have graced this paticular corner of the Fylde Coast.....it may well be The Legends show on at the Central Pier,but The Legends this night descended pon the pool via Birkenhead Van Hire and go by the name of Half Man Half Biscuit.
After a lively train journey,where some MILF and her Lambrini fuelled daughter, tried to brainstorm with the rest of the carriage how best to create a logo for a Machine Cleaning Company called Solar (we settled on an image of Saturn,a la 'Planet 24' with the letters of Solar replacing the rings....but in bubbles) we arrived at The Northlands around 6.00.
Tamara opened the door in her best flip flops,and her eyes darted about like an autocue reader on acid....something wasn't quite right. "are you here with this band too? We've never heard of them." she said...note the 'We'....after Steve's report of Wayne being seen earlier sporting a shiner,we never saw Wayne all weekend.Now I'm not suggesting he was bound and gagged and locked in the cellar,but the 8 Ball was missing from the Pool Table....that's all I'm saying.
Course 2-Variety Pack Cereals
We left and made tracks for The Pump and Truncheon,and were greeted by The Holbein Henry-esque Steve Bradbury,perched at the bar...we discussed the Bergara Glory Years whilst trying not to touch on Penalty Defeats in Staines.Also present was Lee from Southampton and his mate from Northampton....my "This must be The Hampton Derby then?" gag blew like Tumbleweed down the front and perched itself on Alan Bradleys memorial.
Then almost inevitably,Mike Cresswell appeared.
Not the usual Cressers in DPAK or REM get up though...this was Mr C straight from work,cutting a dashing figure in his Pinstripe Suit,his hair giving The Big One a run for its money as 2nd most visible thing in Blackpool...The Cresswell was looking so good that Loop whispered in my ear "you gotta get one of them suits"...The Saucy Mare!
So to the Tower Lounge,a place I had last visited celebrating after Portugal beat England in the World Cup and singing Karaoke to an almost empty bar...I was excited at seeing the Biscuit on the same stage but did wonder whether it would be a similar crowd.....I shouldn't have worried as the place was heaving full of Biscuiteers all waving at themselves on the Big Screen.
Finally the band emerged,and after a short delay started with Restless Legs.Now it has to be said that the sound wasn't the best.Poor Gareth did his best as always but it was noticeable.This was however not a problem as I thought the crowd were both enthusiastic and knowledgeable,and the band were really in good form.There were also two belting fights in the mosh,including the best right cross I've seen in all my 16 years watching The Biscuit.
Particular favourites for me were Look Dad No Tunes (saluted by myself and a fellow "Volkswagon" in the crowd),Vitas Geralitus and the two new songs,Bad Loser at Yahoo Chess and He's on the 'Roids.
Best Inbetweenie was "John Kettley,John Kettley,John Kettley!....is another band" and NB57 having to scrap the start of a song as he had spotted the advert at the back for "Wee Phillie...not for the faint hearted...every Sunday Afternoon".
I was completely hoarse by the end and Loops Oven Gloves went down a storm as always with person after person asking where they could buy some..."No,I made them!" was the reply...Probe,take notice.
An over zealous bouncer calling time at the bar over the road prevented us partying with Paul Pars Fan and the ever more glorious Kitty,so it was back to Northlands where they did keep their promise of keeping the bar open as we had a good nightcap with The Hamptons,Steve Brads and Moo and his mate who were good company and ciggie partners for Loop.
And so to the 4th Course-Full English
whether you liked it or not.....now put it down to drinking Smoothflow on the Train from the can rather than a pintpot,the chippy supper where the police emerged from the cellar and told stavros "don't leave the premises,we'll be back with the right paperwork" or just a plethora of beer, I woke on Saturday Morning with a head feeling like a Frenchman lived in it.
We went down to Tamara's Breakfast room (she was now in a fetching red tabbard...still in the flip flops) and after we helped ourselves to the first three courses,out came The Full English. Now as I have a dislike of tinned tomato, fear of Beans and an allergy to Pork Sausage,it was just the bacon and egg that interested me,but as wobble pointed out earlier it was splattered in more tomato than Heather Mills trying to do La Tomatina Festival in Bunyol.It was even worse for Loop as shes vegetarian! Not the best Breakfast we've ever tasted.
A bracing walk on the sea front and all was well again.Blackpool and The Biscuit did indeed Rock...we cannot wait to see what Sheffield brings.